A Step Back: Lessons Learned after taking a 2 month break from social media

As someone that does social media and digital marketing for a living, I wasn't able to take a full break from social media but I was able to take a much needed step back. 

Let’s start off by pointing out that this break wasn’t planned. I actually planned on increasing my presence on social media and then the Texas winter storm happened and my house flooded and my 9 to 5 got crazy and my uncle died and I felt like it was the end of times. So I took a step back. 

If we’re being honest, I was forced to take a step back. It was me vs. all the foolery of the world and I had to find a way to catch my breath. Despite it all, I’m grateful for the break and here are some of the things I learned. 

1. I have to be unyieldingly incessant in the pursuit of taking care of myself. 

Baybeeeee! This one right here was something else. 

I have been someone that has valued self care for years, but the level of self care that is needed when you’re getting attacked on all sides is something different. 

I was in a moment where there was a lot of chaos happening at once and I needed to find a way to balance everything I had going on, try to continue to show up, and still find a way to make deadlines and appointments and whatever else. 

So as an unofficial juggler that was trying to keep the fractures of my life from falling on the ground, I could only balance so many things at once, which meant the first thing to go was me taking care of and protecting myself. 

I prioritized the job that pays my bills by showing up on days I should've taken off because “they needed me”. 

I prioritized being a good daughter, niece, and cousin as my family was grieving my uncle instead of dealing with my own grief and pain. 

I prioritized being a good leader and showing up for my church life group the day after we buried my uncle. 

I prioritized everyone and everything before myself.

I don’t regret any of that, especially being able to be there for my loved ones. 

I just learned that taking care of myself, sometimes even first, deserves and needs to be a priority.  

I cannot rely on other people to be my caretaker, protector, or even know what I need. 

At the end of the day it’s me and me and I have to be able to take care of myself, show up for myself, advocate for myself, be kind to myself, and love myself regardless of what is going on and who is or isn’t around. 

2. Setting boundaries is hard but necessary 

One of the first things I realized I needed to do to start really take care of myself was setting boundaries. 

As a true cancer sun and pisces moon, I tend to allow my emotions to dictate my reality and I suck at setting and sticking to boundaries. 

This time was different because I had just gone through the negative and devastating side effects of not putting proper boundaries in place. 

I had always thought boundaries were a way to keep people out and isolate yourself, but I realized boundaries are a way to maintain healthy relationships with others and yourself. 

As I started on this boundary setting journey I realized how hard it can be to say no especially to things you would want to do, but don’t have the capacity for.  

You also have to be really firm and unwavering with your boundaries for the protection of yourself and so that others take you seriously. 

Setting boundaries is not sexy. In fact, it can be painful at times, but it is so incredibly rewarding. 

Putting crucial boundaries in place about what things I was going to do, when I was going to do them, how much time and energy I was willing and able to give, and how I can best communicate, to myself and others, when my plate was full; literally changed my life. 

It gave me the freedom and boldness to actively advocate for  myself and my mental health while giving me the room and opportunity to do life based on my terms and not succumbing to societal pressures. 

I’m not saying that I never struggle with doing too much or not prioritizing myself or saying no. Actually far from that. This is a process and I am far from perfect. 

This has been a really rewarding journey and I am so incredibly proud of myself for not just setting boundaries, but for realizing that I needed them in the first place and being willingly to do something about it. 

3. Life is short; Book the flight 

So we’ve talked about how I’ve been taking care of myself by setting boundaries and saying no, now let’s talk about how I've been prioritizing enjoyment and saying yes. 

Before I really get into this, I want to acknowledge that I’m speaking from a place of privilege as someone that has been vaccinated. 

Long story short, I found a $60 flight to New York City to go visit some family and have some fun in the middle of the work week. I booked the flight (something I normally wouldn’t have done), worked from the airport and my aunt’s apartment because I didn’t want to take the days off, took maybe 3 whole pictures while I was there for 6 days, and had a blast. 

This trip wasn’t my most fun and I wouldn’t consider it a vacation because I was technically still working, but it was a very necessary step I took towards doing something fun for me outside of my house with loved ones and not recording or documenting any of it. 

I have been really intentional about not just focusing on work or staying inside too much, and making a real effort to go outside and hang out with friends and have some good fun and be in the moment. 

This whole pandemic, year, and season have emphasized that life is really short and it is so important to take opportunities to have goodness in your life, supportive community around you, and fun.