Rona Ruined my Birthday: A Celebration of Life.

Wow as I’m writing this, I’m actually 23 years old. It seems both extremely normal and completely crazy. 

 Firstly, I want to thank God. I thank God for life, perseverance, love, growth, compassion, mercy, grace, and balance. I’m truly grateful to be alive and well.

 Nowadays that is a luxury I cannot overlook. 

22 was filled with a lot of unexpected twists and turns and a lot of learning and growing. 

 This was my first step out as an adult and there were so many parts I really enjoyed like: the consistent direct deposits, the peaceful brunch dates, the chatty dinner dates, the productive days where I felt like I should be CEO of the world, the spontaneous trips across the country, the death and burial of me ever being the broke friend again, the development of new and old friendships and relationships, buying real adult clothes, starting therapy, and watching myself grow more into the woman I want to be.

 There were also some not so great things like: bills, unemployment, having to change/buy all new tires, imposter syndrome, and so many more hurdles I had to jump over. 

 This year I lived. Like for real. I had ups and downs and I loved it all. It all brought me to this moment. 

 This moment of complete gratitude. As I’m sitting here writing this, I’ve spent a lot of today just resting and being still. There’s so much value in just being with yourself.  

 My dad used to have times when his phone would be blowing up and he would refuse to answer it even though he wasn’t doing anything. I remember it used to irritate me because I thought he was being insensitive to the people that were calling him.  

 I have come to a realization, that my dad probably knew, as much as I love and appreciate everyone in my life, I no longer need their affection to feel validated. 

 Today is important to me and that’s enough. The birthday wishes, gifts, and parties are things I enjoy but it is all fleeting. 

 When the calls and texts stop and it’s finally still, am I in love with the person I am? Am I content with myself? Does the stillness bring me peace and security? 

 Yes. I am content with who I am and I am excited for this year and many more. Bigger and better things are coming this year. I can feel it. 

 P.S: I also want to take a quick second to address that girl Rona. 

 Girl, you’ve really come for me. You’ve cancelled my dope NYC/Miami birthday trip that I had completely planned and paid for, you cancelled my birthday massage that I was really looking forward to, you cancelled the pedicure I desperately need, and you even cancelled me going to watch a movie in the actual theaters. You are lowdown and dirty for all of it. We will never be friends. 

 I do have to appreciate you for canceling working in the office tho. Can you also cancel racism? Just a thought.